if hearts were blue

if hearts were blue

I think mine would be an ocean, maybe;

a little salty and cold

but big and vast and stretching out until the tendrils grasp at the horizon and flicker like a snake’s tongue at the sinking coral sun.

when I step into the waves I like to imagine walking on and on forever,

wading through the swirling water for eternity, and, when a gust of wind finds my mouth and pries open my lungs, I wonder if this is what life and love really is;

gasping for breath through a filter of sand and seashells and sky and drowning anyway.

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colliquallisms​

the blanket of rain thrown across a window

and the steady pattern of sound that follows it.

the whisper of my cat’s furry paws as he brushes against my legs

and whines for more food to be poured into his already full dish.

the electric thrum of my sister’s amp as she plugs in her guitar

to play a melody that seeps out of her door and into mine.

the thumps of my sister dancing across her floor

in her bedroom, next to mine, while I’m trying to relax, or read.

the busy wave, bubblegum around your finger, nails tapping on metal

conversations of strangers as my dad and I stroll down the new york city sidewalks.

the sigh that escapes my mom’s lips as she brushes a stream of honey behind her ear

and smiles as she tells me to go finish my homework.

the tapping of my fingernails on the keyboard as a write this poem,

the growl of my stomach as I prolong lunch because there isn’t any crackers, or milk,

the soft inhale of breath as I read these lines with dissatisfaction.

poetry reccomendations​

Hi! I’ve been watching a lot of spoken word poetry lately, so I thought I’d share some of my favorites. All of the poems are linked. I hope you love them as much as I do.

The Kindest Thing She Almost Did – Blythe Biard

When I Say That We Are All Teen Girls – Olivia Gatwood

And What Good Will Your Vanity Be When the Rapture Comes – Hanif Abdurraquib

When A Boy Tells You That He Loves You – Edwin Boney

The Type – Sarah Kay

Repetion – Phil Kaye

13 Lines From Love Letters Or Suicide Notes – Doc Luben

Yosra Strings Off My Mustache – Melissa Lozada-Oliva

Scars/To The New Boyfriend – Rudy Francusco

Seven Small Ways In Which I Loved Myself This Week – Sabrina Benaim

In Which Every Poem That I Write Becomes A Poem About My Body – Kate Hao

Ain’t I A Woman – Kai Davis

a poem in which i love myself:

It is 12:00 am,

And I do not prod my cheeks and nose and mouth with dirty fingertips.

Instead, I dip a shadow in paint and trace daffodils across my skin.

I braid dandelions into my hair and whisper bleeding hearts onto my lips.

I tell myself that I am beautiful, and what is beauty, if not the hazy fog of my breath on a frozen windowpane?

I tell myself that I am unique, and what is uniqueness, if not a single reluctant bud swallowed by a thousand unfurled roses?

It is 12:00 am,

And I do not hold my breath and wonder about all the things I could have been.

Instead, I graffiti my mirror.

I outline my handprints on my ceiling,

I rearrange my books so that a rainbow spills off of the wooden shelves.

I tell myself that I am enough,

And I am enough.

moon over friday

do you think

that if i opened my mouth wide enough

i could swallow the moon whole?

oh, what i would give to be a lonely soul

floating exquisitely through an empty void of

time and matter and emotion,

caught in a world somewhere in the midst of

here and nowhere.

to be the space between the stars,

surrounded by a vacuum of quiet

in an universe of disharmony –

that is all my fragile heart longs for,

and is there not something terrifyingly romantic in becoming nothing?

it is a wild sort of suspension above what is and what ought to be

and once you have dangled so close to those swirling galaxies

a little broken piece of you can’t help but want to fall in,

even when that means drowning.

autumn haikus

do you wish you could

pick up my fallen leaves and

nail them to my trunk?

 

whispers flutter from

crimson leaves, fall through your lips

and into my ears.

 

the wind howls like the

to be or not to be that

lives inside my heart.

 

 

a young highschooler’s afterthoughts

i wish i had known

that love at first sight was a lie

becuase i was convinced

that we were like that –

when our eyes met

and our hands touched as

we brushed past each other on the

way to class,

i thought the shiver down my spine

was love.

i wish i had known

that when someone has to text

“im sorry pls take me back”

twice a week

you should start to wonder about

the things they haven’t apologized for

instead of blindly replying

in the same minute

“of course, i love you

we were meant to be”

i wish i had known that

there is no meant to be

only we are

and there is no love at first sight

there are only sparks that fly

and sparks are not love.

i wish i had known

that all of the stupid little things

you never did

were love

and i was empty without them

but you never tried to do

any of them

so i just thought

my emptiness

was love.

tribute to sojourner truth

Courage is the thing

That grows in the broken souls

It weaves itself in between

The crevices so deep and worn

By so many knives that

Have invaded this heart –

Courage is the thing

That walks beside fear,

Coaxes the cowering figure

Down this narrow path

They call life –

Courage is the thing

That breaks these

Ungodly shackles and rises

Against this inhumane

Treachery,

And all the lies that roll off

Of their tongues and

Trickle down your back like

The sweat of a thousand

Crying slaves –

Courage is the thing

That wipes the drops away

And walks straight out of

This hostility

Because you have EVERY right

To the freedom that others

Take so carelessly for granted.

Courage is the thing

That begins to move the dirt

Upon the mountain

Because it must be done

Courage is the thing

That thrives on souls

Like these

And uses them to forge

Onward to inspire

The next yearning mind.

 

forgive me?

im

so

sorry

that I’ve left you

in that dark little hole

to fall into my own

and

im

so

sorry

that all the see-through words

i showered you with

weren’t good enough

and

im

so

sorry

that our fingertips dont

reach each other anymore

these ditches are stupid

and

im

so

sorry

that you were drowning

and when i jumped in to save you

i realized i couldn’t swim

and then we both couldn’t breathe

and the world was black and white

and it

was

all

my fault.

 

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